When to fire the CEO
We all hear about CEO's and their misdoings. I thought I would add to the discussion by noting when a CEO (or any other higher executive for that matter) should be fired. This list is just a start. Feel free to add to the list. Note, the list does not apply to CEO's who started their own company, they can do as they please (within the law of course), but usually they don't violate any of these "rules" anyways. They only seem to be violated by people using other people's money (not their own).

> If any CEO uses the corporate Jet for personal use, they should be fired.n Use coach, like your customers.
> If any relative of a CEO uses a corporate jet for personal use, the CEO should be fired, after they reimburse the company. Tell your kids to fly coach.
> If a Company’s profit and sales declines over a reasonable amount of time, and the CEO still gets a raise, the CEO should be fired along with the Exectutive Salary Committee. Sales people get fired for not meeting quota and the CEO gets a raise in a down year....?????
> If the CEO will not return phone calls, they should be fired. (Note: Most good CEO’s and Exectuves will return phone calls)
> If any CEO receives stock options, and they are post dated, they CEO will be terminated. If anyone in their organization receives them, they will be fired.
> Any CEO who cannot or will not make coffee will be fired. If you can’t figure out a coffee machine you are not qualified to run a company.
> Any CEO who has someone deliver coffee will be fired.
> If a CEO has a secratary make his voicemail greeting, the CEO shall be fired. If you can't figure out voicemail, forget it...
> If a CEO has son’s, daughters, wife, ex-wife or other close relatives on the payroll, they will be fired along with CEO “Daddy” Just because one is a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club” does not qualify one for anything.
> Any CEO who writes a book and has the company buy copies of it for employees. distribution will be fired. Let it stand on its own merits, or buy your own book.
> A CEO who has the company buy things from his sons, daughters or wife (or ex-wife), such as consulting services, books, services of any kind, will be fired. Pay them yourself. If they are that gifted they will be able to make it on their own.
> The “golden parachute” of a CEO who is fired, shall equal the termination package of the lowest paid person in the company, on a percentage basis.
> Any CEO who has an affair, dates someone in his company, or displays inappropriate behavior, shall be fired. It is now the 21st Century, get used to it.
> Any new CEO who comes on board, and centralizes operations from a decentralized operation, or vice versa, shall be fired. At this pay grade it is expected that one be a little more creative than this.
> Any CEO who has a reorganization after “bad news”, and who institutes a “search for the innocent” shall be fired. Again, you should be more creative.
> If a CEO uses the words "systemic" or "paradigm shift" in any talk, discussion or paper, and has been there for more than a year, shall be fired. The use of these words should be banned entirely.
> If a CEO hears about a program from another CEO "buddy", or hears of a program at an executive seminar, and then implements such a program without understanding it, shall be fired.
> Any CEO who cuts expenses, but not their own salary shall be fired.
> If the company’s sales are down, and the company then cuts the sales force, that CEO shall be fired. Sheer stupidity will not be tolerated.
> If a company institutes an automated customer service system (“press #1"), and the CEO has not tested it personally, and the system basically stinks, the CEO will fired. But only after he or she works in the customer service area taking calls for 1 month – minimum.
> If any CEO receives a low interest loan to buy stock or anything else for that matter, they will be fired. If you can’t live on a generous salary, you are not qualified to run a company.
> Any CEO who divorces and marries someone more than 10 years younger, will be fired. “Trophy Wives” will not be tolerated. This only applies to male CEO's, women don't do things this foolish.
> Any CEO who throws a lavish party for a relative, and does not invite the public at large, and has it paid for by the company, will be fired.
> If you break the law, any law, you will be fired. Yes, we hold you to a higher standard. Higher pay equals higher standards.
> Any CEO of a public company, who acts like they created the company and are the cause of the value of the company, shall be fired. If you are so good, go start your own company from scratch, we dare you!
> Any company which purchases expensive art work for a CEO’s office or home, shall fire that CEO. (Just how does expensive art work create shareholder value??)
> Any CEO who proposes to move Corporate Headquarters for “strategic reasons” shall be fired. Headquarters were there before they came on board. The city you are in and the people there helped the company get where it is today. If you think a move will create value, go somewhere else, leave now.
> A CEO who moves headquarts shortly after being hired, so it is closer to his present home, shall be fired.
> Any CEO who has a house larger than 5,000 square feet shall be fired. If you can’t figure out what bedroom to sleep in, you can’t manage a company.
> Any CEO who does not drive his own car on weekends, shall be fired.
> Any CEO who does not do their own shopping shall be fired.
> Any CEO who has someone buy gifts for his or her spouse, or kids, will be fired. If you can’t manage your time, you are not qualified.
> Any CEO who acts like “royalty” shall be fired.
> When a Dilbert cartoon mimics your CEO, that CEO will be fired.
> If a Dilbert cartoon mimics your CEO, and it is prominently posted around the company, and they “don’t get it”, that CEO will be fired.
> If after posting a Dilbert cartoon an employee is disciplined for it, that Mangaer or CEO shall be fired.
> If you are cutting costs, and laying people off, and then go on a trip to the "office" in Hawaii, you will be fired. Set an example for goodness sakes.

To be continued.....